You Don't Need a Situationship - You Need Hobbies

We all crave romantic love. I'm not a love expert, nor a psychologist or a professional in this field but what I can draw on is life experience. If you've ever felt lonely in a relationship, this might resonate.

I was with someone for 8 years - and then it fell apart when I discovered he was having an affair, and likely not his first. After our relationship ended, every single change was scary. Every. Single. One. How was I going to manage alone? I hadn't been since I was 18 years old. Now what?

Don't worry, this shit show does have a happy ending.
Three years later, I have learned a lot. I went through a rebound phase where I was dating anyone that seemed like they could offer me attention. In the first year, I had a lot of failed flings and strange situationships that never made it past a few months.

But everything changed when I began to invest the energy I put into dating into myself instead. Yes, that horrible cliche of "dating yourself first" is exactly what made me feel like my life hadn't fallen apart for no reason.

I reconnected with the things that 12 year old me loved. Drawing, crafting, playing more instruments. I picked up a crochet hook after my mom suggested it might soothe me and keep my hands busy (she was right). I started crafting jewellery from polymer clay again. And then that strange feeling of boredom and loneliness began to truly leave when I joined book clubs and other craft groups.

People have found community through a "knit and natter" circle for as long as textiles have existed. I made so many new connections and it made me feel like there was more to life than just surviving. I felt like I could thrive. Creating things and sharing them with others is fundamentally what connects us to one another, in my experience.

Final thoughts?
Of course we crave romance and love and if it adds to our already colourful life it can be a truly beautiful thing. However, it is NOT a substitute for building your own dream life and finding community.

Happy Hobbying, friends.